“I know I should forgive, but why should I have to….”

I interrupted her, “Get to.”

“Huh?” she replied, looking confused.

So, I continued, “It is not a matter of ‘having to’ forgive. You get to forgive.”

“Okaaaay,” she questioningly replied.

Taking that as permission, I continued, “Forgiving is something you do for you, not for the person you are forgiving. You are releasing yourself from the person and the situation that was hurtful. Most people miss that. And because of that, people don’t forgive. They hang onto the hurts. They carry the hurts with them, letting the hurts hold them back. Letting the hurts continue to harm.”

My client was stuck on a basic misunderstanding that many people have about forgiving. Perhaps it comes from some old childhood memory of an adult telling them, “You need to forgive.” Or maybe it was pressure from religion, that you have to forgive. But the fact is, forgiving is a choice. It is also something you get to do, not have to do.
What if you actually could release those hurts from the past? What if you could let go of those painful moments from the past to move into a better present and future?

Perhaps you share the same misconception my client had. Or perhaps you just can’t stomach “forgive and forget,” another myth about forgiving.

Or perhaps, like many people, you do not know how to do it. You want to, you know you need to (for your own good), but you don’t know how.

That is the goal of The Forgive Process.
Consider it your cheatsheet to forgiving.
Think of it as the map to forgiveness.
Start reading
The Forgive Process
And find a copy at any of the links below.